do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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