I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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