before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize