I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
