Apparently you make a good broom.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
