as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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