At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
