I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
