All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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