is your mom at the bar?
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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