Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It's never too late to be topless.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
