i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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