Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
