he puts the penis in happiness.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
