I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
