I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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