Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
