Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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