I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
