Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't think brook has ever known best
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
