buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize