Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
smell my finger.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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