Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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