false alarm. still invincible.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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