She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
