How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
