did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
