Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
