yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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