just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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