I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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