you guys were way drunker than both of me
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize