I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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