Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
