Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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