Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
