Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
