I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
