Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
