but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
