If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
