i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
