Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize