He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
