i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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