I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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