What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
