Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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