hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My pussy is not your playground.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
