i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize