4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
