It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
