i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
