Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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