Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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