I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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