Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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