i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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