Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
