There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i just google imaged poop.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
